January 24, 2005.

Dear Bean,

Well here we are, one year after the event that changed everything. I’m sure that you, like the rest of us, could have continued happily on without this “growth experience” but unfortunately we don’t get to make those choices. So, here we are having come all this way with a still longer journey ahead and I guess I feel it’s important to take a moment and reflect on this past year.

First, I’ve been completely awed by your strength and determination. I’ve always known what a fighter you are but you’ve proved it countless times this year with your will to live and your steady progress. It always amazes me to hear people advise us to “let you go” when you’ve had many opportunities over the past year to let go on your own and haven’t taken any of them. To me, “letting you go” would be ignoring all you’ve accomplished this past year and would be doing you a great disservice. I see you in there, more each week, and although progress is agonizingly slow for an impatient person such as myself, it is still progress and I’m going to celebrate the victories, however small they might be.

Bean, you probably already know this but we have an amazing family. All of us siblings, spouses, Mom, the nephews and nieces, Mike and the girls, Kim and Vari, Mike’s parents – everyone has been so strong during this year. We’ve supported you and supported one another throughout and woe to anyone who stands in our way concerning your care or what we think is best. We may not agree on every detail but we’re united in our love and devotion to you and are resolved to see you through.

I’ve decided that I’m going to take a lesson from you this year and quit lamenting on “why did this happen”. I’m going to concentrate on looking forward and doing all I can to help you get better. I’m going to be grateful that you’re still here with us and still fighting. I’m going to enjoy my time with you and enjoy watching our children play together. Yes, our lives have changed dramatically this past year. But we are coping and adjusting to those changes.

Hang in there Bean. You’re not alone and we all love you. Just keep doing what you’re doing and this year will be a much better one.

Love,

Sheila